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James Bond
James Bond battled Austin Powers and himself in James Bond vs Austin Powers. He appeared as two different adaptations of himself, Daniel Craig's James Bond and Sean Connery's James Bond. Craig's Bond was portrayed by Ben Atha, while Connery's Bond was portrayed by EpicLLOYD. He also battled Powers in an unofficial rap battle, in which he was portrayed by Nice Peter.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOqWAnASXYA Information on the rapper Created by British writer Ian Fleming, Commander James Bond is a Senior Operational Officer of the 'Double-O' ('00') Branch, an ultra-covert Black Ops unit within the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6). As an agent of MI6, Bond holds code number "007". The 'double-O' prefix indicates his discretionary license to kill in the performance of his duties. Many actors have portrayed James Bond in film, including Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, and, most recently, Daniel Craig. However, the version of Bond portrayed by Sir Sean Connery is the most iconic. As Bond, he appeared in Dr. No (1962), From Russia with Love (1963), Goldfinger (1964), Thunderball (1965), You Only Live Twice (1967) and Diamonds Are Forever (1971). In 1983 he returned to the role for the last time in the unofficial James Bond film, Never Say Never Again, another adaptation of the Bond story Thunderball. In addition he also provided his voice and likeness for 2005's video game adaptation of From Russia with Love. Lyrics 'James Bond vs Austin Powers:' [Note: James Bond (Daniel Craig) is in white, James Bond (Sean Connery) is in dark gray, and Austin Powers is in dark blue.] 'Verse 1 (Daniel Craig version):' I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar, But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are! I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot! Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot! Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it! I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit! After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights! Your third movie died; guess You Only Live Twice! Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D! Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me! I'm bespoke from my head to my toe, and after this flow, I'm done! I only need one round: *gunshot* Golden gun! 'Verse 2 (Daniel Craig version):' (Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown! I should be on an island with a fucking model by now! Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis, Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies! Yeah, that's not mine… I didn't say I was finished! I'm sick of your silly gimmicks! I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics! And I've been through hell, so yeah I'm a bit of a cynic, But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics! 'Verse 3 (Sean Connery version):' I wouldn't exactly call you original… It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage! Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage! Your performance doesn't stir me, and I'm certainly not shaken! If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken! I see your modern gadgets, and I piss on them all! I don't need a Q to break your balls! I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on! You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond. Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap, please? Rap these, you velvety hack! Jeez! 'Verse 4 (Daniel Craig version):' It's the movie business, and you've had your six! The world has had quite enough rug wearing misogynists! 'Verse 5 (Sean Connery version):' Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentleman! I'm distinguished! If they made a Mini-Me they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage! Well, maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English! *slap* Why pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist? 'Verse 6 (Daniel Craig version):' As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts! After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts! 'Verse 7 (Sean Connery version):' Now, you listen here, you little duck-faced runt! I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want! ---- 'Unofficial battle against Austin Powers:' So let me start with you, you English, buck-toothed piece of shit! You should be like my Mike Myers, and take your career and quit! 'Cause your movies are lousy and they stink at the box office. I've been a sex symbol since…what the fuck rhymes with "box office"? …Since they invented the box office! Trivia *Bond is the eleventh rapper to be portrayed by multiple actors. *He is the sixth rapper to have multiple versions appear in the battle, after Gandalf, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, the Doctor, and Goku. *He is the first rapper to rap against himself. *He has the most lines out of any rapper in a single battle, at forty. *He is the second rapper to be both a title rapper and a third party, after Abe Lincoln. **He is the only one to be both in the same battle. *He is the second/third rapper who was in an unofficial battle before being in an official one, after Sherlock Holmes and alongside Austin Powers. *Sean Connery's Bond enters wearing a scuba suit with a seagull on his head. Coincidentally, EpicLLOYD previously portrayed a Seagull in The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water during a rap battle. References Category:Character main pages Category:Epic Rap Battles of History Participant Category:Third-party Category:Season 5 Category:Unofficial Category:Season 5 Characters Category:Unofficial Character Category:James Bond vs Austin Powers Category:Nice Peter Category:EpicLLOYD Category:Ben Atha